Meeting my children
To me, there is no gift more beautiful than that of a child. To welcome a soul into your life and share that journey with them is the most magical of all experiences. My role as a Mother has been my biggest joy, as I am sure many parents around the world would equally attest to. It has not always been an easy road, yet the sacrifices surely outweigh the smiles that glow upon their little faces and the pride that comes from watching their achievements.
My own introduction into Motherhood was not the most traditional start, but it is one that I have always been honest about, learning and growing from the child that launched me into the adult world. She was my guide from one phase of life into the next and even still she continues to teach me things that I never could have learned without her. Each child that followed seemed to do the same, leading me forward holding my hand and building the bridge between a life that I knew into a brand new existence. However, much unlike some Mothers, I got to meet my children years before some of them arrived to this earthly plane to join me. Getting the privilege of preparation is something I have always been very grateful for and when these little souls arrived I knew how special they all were going to be in their own unique way.
My first child decided to arrive into my life at a time when I was still trying to figure out exactly who I was and who I wanted to be. It was only about a month before my sixteenth birthday when I discovered that Motherhood was meant to be a part of that bigger picture of who I would become. While I knew like most girls that I wanted children sometime down the line, I must admit I wasn’t expecting it right at that moment. Yet somehow I wasn’t shocked either, I let the news wash over me and began to adjust to what was essentially an entrance into the unknown. There was no sense of panic, only a plan that I knew I had to form to prove to myself and those around me that I would not become just another statistic. My primary focus just a short walk away from finding out that she was coming, was to finish my education. I knew nothing about the sort of Mother I was to be, I only knew at that moment in my life the kind of Mother I didn’t want this child to have. I didn’t want her to look up to a Mother who had no example to set and no means to provide for her. The rest I knew we would simply have to learn together. I remember asking the powers that be to give her the gift of forgiveness and compassion, so that perhaps any failings on my part may be overlooked through her eyes and in return I swore I’d do whatever it took to ensure she was happy.
Perhaps Spirit decided that I could use a little more preparation, or maybe I was reaching out subconsciously to the universe to see how this whole journey would turn out. Either way I remember laying in my bed not long after the news that I was with child, looking down and with a hand on my stomach I began to converse with this little soul that was making her way to me. Instinctively I knew I was having a girl, I recall just knowing that as some sort of fact regardless of the reality she and I were only weeks into our time together. I made a lot of promises to her that night and laid there wondering if there were more children one day that might want to join us. I wasn’t ready for an entire family experience, but the whole process of being launched into this place made me curious about her and whether she would get to share her experiences with other siblings. As I drifted off to sleep, my Spirit Guide decided to pay me a visit and allowed me to see the others that were destined to arrive. This dream has been a memory recalled many times through the years and I still remember it like it was yesterday.
My dream began with me walking toward a big purple tent, which sat alone in what looked to be a grassy, wooded area. I went inside and before me sat an old Gypsy woman, dressed in all the attire one would expect from some sort of movie scene. This woman would later appear to me again in time, as she has been one of my main guides through my lifetime. I sat down at her table and she looked up at me in the dream and asked me to cross her palm with silver and she would tell me my fortune. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a huge silver coin and placed it in her hands. She took the coin and then simply said You are here about your children, so I shall tell you. The first is a girl, an independent child filled with strength and light. She is here for you. The other two shall carry my bloodline, Romany Gypsy and these two shall be born under the same Father. The next image I recall in the dream is a photograph of three kids standing together smiling. The eldest girl stood in the back, her hair was blonde and she looked around the age of 15 or 16. To her left stood a boy, who looked very different to his sister and I knew somehow he would be the spitting image of his Father as he bore less resemblance to me. He had short dark brown hair, big eyes and was quite slim. He appeared to be around the age of 9 or 10. The final child stood to the right of the photo, she looked very much like I did as a little girl with long light brown hair, beautiful eyes and a sweet smile. I guessed her age to be about 3 or 4. This photographic image in my dream was so amazingly vivid and seemed to just sit there while I studied it in awe.
When I awoke the next morning, I was overcome with a sense of peace. I sat upright in bed pondering over the details of it and working out what I believed to be their ages in the picture and the things she said to me about the children. It seemed that each of my three children would have about six years between them all, and the order of course was a girl first, boy next and then another little girl. When the news was broken to my parents that I was expecting, the shock later turned to waves of support with the excitement and acceptance of a new family member that was so overwhelming. I recall my Mother telling me that I was going to have a boy, as she had always wanted a son herself and hoped that her first grandchild would give her that opportunity to enjoy a little boy around. Due to her persistence I remember being at my ultrasound appointment and her joking with the sonographer that she felt she was having a grandson. I looked up at the woman and quite plainly said to her Could you please tell my Mother that it’s a girl, because she keeps insisting it’s not and I already know it is. I was right of course. My eldest was the first born daughter to the men in her Father’s family in what I believe is about five or six generations. She is a very special girl indeed. For the years that followed I was always open to others about the sex of each child that was to come, the years that would be between them and the faith that somehow they would all find their way to me when the time was right.
This dream turned out to be a valuable clue to a major life decision that I made years later, which is another story for another time. I have gone on to have each of the children that was shown to me in this dream. My son came into my life six years after his sister and he does indeed resemble his Father perfectly. Six years after him, a little girl arrived who looks almost identical to me as a child and oddly enough both of those children have come through Romany Gypsy bloodlines just as my Guide had said all those years ago. Yet, these were the children destined to me, but there was one more that I choose to bring into this life. A child not destined from the beginning, but one I also met before he was even conceived. His story I feel should be told all on its own, not because he is any more special or unique to the others, but because his story has taught me some very powerful lessons.
Of all my guides in life, these souls are the ones I have been the most grateful for. To have been given the deep insight into their lives ahead of time was a gift I shall always feel thankful to have received. I can see now that the journey ahead was filled with so many twists and turns that perhaps without the knowledge of those few key things about them, things may have not shaped where I am in life and how I’d get to these points. From the moment I had that dream, I held onto that photographic image as though it already existed and the wondrous way in which they all came to bring me here still makes me take a step backwards in sheer amazement. Yet it also helped me to form some of my deeper ideals about this journey of the soul and my belief that perhaps we do indeed make soul pacts amongst each other well before we even begin the journey through life itself.
At times I am asked if living a psychic life is any different from the norm, if I somehow am given the steps to my journey ahead of time. Most of the time I smile, and simply say that once I had the greatest pleasure in meeting four powerful teachers and that each one has eventually given me the honour of calling me their Mother.
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