There are points along this journey of mine which were particularly key moments in my transformation into being a professional psychic. The beauty of these moments for me now, where that none of them were forced or sought out, they just transpired and appeared into my life without any prompting at all. I hold onto the belief that they were all meant to be, that somehow in the scheme of the bigger picture the universe helped to shape all of this into a divine plan. I am still in awe each day with how things manifest in this life of ours, how Spirit can reach a hand out and guide you when you are too far off the beaten path. Somehow we all end up back where we are meant to, with each little twist and turn more adventurous than the next. It is when we look back that we truly see the real power in what took place and this is exactly how I see each little piece of my own puzzle when I reflect and look at how it all fit together in the end. It is nothing short of amazing when you stop and think about it.
The tarot has been a very integral part of my path to this point, as it was the tool that helped me begin reaching out to others and start reading for them. I have one person for this introduction to thank and if I had one wish in my life it is to truly let her know that a thank you does no justice to the feelings of gratitude that I hold for the gift that she bestowed onto me back then. For what she gave me turned out to be a key to the life I am now living. I wish in a way I could show her and help her understand the magnitude of that, because since that time I have literally been invited into thousands of lives over the past 18 years.
Her name is Denise and I met her back when we were in middle school. We danced around one another’s lives for those precious years of growth, at times being very close friends and other times our lives were lived parallel to one another experiencing different things. I knew even then she was a special soul, she was someone that often radiated a positive vibration even if she felt that life was a struggle as we all did. When we were both 16, I recall her discovering her interest in reading the tarot through a friend of hers and I remember her asking me if I wanted a reading. Naturally I did, I was curious and had never before seen anyone truly use the cards and I sat there with an open mind to see what she had to say. To be perfectly honest, I cannot remember what came out of that reading and all the little details, I just remember her looking in her book and her asking me to forgive her because she was still learning all the meanings to the cards. She had the Hanson-Roberts tarot deck and a lovely little blue book that she was flicking through reading all the meanings for me and putting her new skills to good use giving me a reading. From the moment she laid out the cards, I had this overwhelming connection to them and I just remember thinking to myself I have to do this, I have to buy a deck. When our reading was over I expressed these feelings, I told her that I was eager to learn and buy a deck for myself. She smiled and said I should, but she told me that traditionally someone was to gift the first deck to me that I wasn’t supposed to buy them. I must have had a look of disappointment on my face, because she looked at me and said it should be perfectly fine, that I should just get a deck anyway and see what happened. She told me all the things I must do to keep them, buy a cloth to read upon, get a little box to put them in and sleep with them under my pillow for 7 nights to establish a good connection.
That day I went straight to my then boyfriend and told him that I wanted to run out and get a deck of tarot cards, thankfully he was very supportive. Within a few days I remember us both being out looking in the little shops of our town in the places we thought we might purchase a deck and finally came upon one that sold everything that I needed. I picked up the same deck as Denise had, the Hanson-Roberts tarot deck, a little piece of dusky pink silk cloth to keep them in and a hand carved box just the right size for the deck to be stored in. When we got to the till my boyfriend smiled at me and very unexpectedly said Let me buy them for you, as a gift. There it was, tradition kept to and my first deck given to me by someone very special at that point in my life. I did everything she had told me to do, I slept with my new deck under my pillow for 7 nights and got them out each day to start teaching myself the meanings of each card, using only the tiny little booklet that came inside the box with the cards.
Not long after I got my new deck, I was at a school lesson with Denise and I brought the deck to show her everything that I had gotten. Having some free time on our hands she looked at me and asked me to do her a reading, see how I was getting on with my new cards. I was nervous, I told her that I wasn’t all that clued up on each of the cards just yet and that it would probably be a very off base reading. She just laughed and said we all start somewhere, bless her. I laid everything out, I shuffled and did a celtic cross spread for her and worked through the reading. I remember her just sitting there and what she did after is forever etched in my memory, because it has been another truly defining moment in my life from that day. She looked up at me, her face looked probably the most serious and sombre that I had ever seen it to that day and she simply said You are so good at this, I’m never reading my cards again. I just laughed her off and told her not to be so silly. She reached into her bag on the table and pulled out the blue book she had been using and handed it to me Here, take this I want you to have it. You are supposed to do this Mesina. I couldn’t accept it, I told her I’d buy the book myself and it wasn’t necessary that she’d need it. She insisted and I reluctantly took the book a little stunned, I didn’t quite know what I had said that made her believe I was any better than she was. I looked down at the book now in my hands and read the title, Tarot Unveiled: The Method to its Magic. The picture on the cover was of a card I’d seen in my Hanson-Roberts deck, a gypsy woman holding back a green curtain revealing a darkness behind it. You see, one year before that I had a dream with a Spirit Guide of mine that has come to me over the years since, a Gypsy woman that these memoirs will in time share with you. So to see this image at that moment was hugely significant to me.
I still have this very book in my possession; it is now tattered and worn with the front cover having come away a few years ago from being opened so many times. It is and always will be a treasured item in my life, a memento of a special moment I shared with a very dear friend. I haven’t used the book in many years now, but it was my teacher, my silent mentor in the new world of Tarot that I was discovering. From this book I taught myself to read, I began to understand the meanings of each card, exploring and developing until finally I managed to put the book away and let it rest. While my original deck has retired, I still keep it in the box that I bought for it, the dusky pink scarf wrapped around holding it like a little secret. All the pieces are tired, the cards showing lines of the many shuffles they did for me, each one a little memory of the learning process I went through. I think of all the people those cards spoke about, of all the stories they’ve told me.
I still use the Hanson-Roberts deck even today, though I tried a few other decks along the way it never felt right. For me, using the same style deck is my way of honouring someone very dear to my heart, like an eternal thank you. If there is anything I have learned in my life so far, it is that gratitude is the biggest key to the journey of developing. When you really absorb the moments of thanks in your life, you never miss a single blessing that comes your way.
For everything in my life, I am forever grateful that I didn’t miss hers.